Dear Our New City
I am a mom of a beautiful 10 year old daughter named Marissa, I love your show, and I wanted to share a story with you. Marissa has always had a beautiful glow around her from the moment she was born. She loves life and has an excitement to learn and grow. I have always wanted to encourage her to hold on to that. So when, at a very young age, she told me she wanted to be a Pole Starette I had some reservations, but decided I needed to support her dream. I was scared for her honestly. The world of contemporary pole dancing is such an intense and competitive art. People who become Starettes spend their whole lives training, everyday, and there are so many sacrifices that come from it and I was worried about the strain it would have on a young girl.
Not to go too deep into a sad part of our lives, but Marissa lost her other mother. Marissa was born by joint neutral conception. My wife, Nadine, and I spliced our eggs and applied a neutral, engineered sperm, and Marissa was carried by Nadine. However, long story short, Nadine had a very rare complication during delivery and passed away. I’ve been raising Marissa on my own. Its been hard helping Marissa know the mother that she lost, but i try as much as I can. I tell her, “She’s flying in the stars, and she will always love you.” But to be honest, and to share something a little vulnerable with you, I often go through moments of panic wondering if I’m making all the right decisions for Marissa on my own.
But I decided I had to have faith in the tenacity of my little girl. So we ended up getting her pole classes, had some online sessions with some of the best pole dancers, and Marissa was a natural. After a few years, she was in the top of her classes and one of her instructors thought she was ready for a Starette summer intensive class, and again, she flourished. She had such a natural poise for the complexity and art of the dance. She conquered every challenging new moving piece she was presented with and it felt like the more intensity that was applied to her, the more she embraced the challenge and the work and the hardship. For such a young girl it seemed like she had everything it took to be a Pole Starette, and she loved every second of it. So at the end of the Summer intensive her instructor recommended that she come in to audition for a part in their upcoming winter production of Coppelia at the historic Sherwood Hall. If she got the part she would be performing for thousands of people a day on one of the most prestigious stages in Pole Dancing. Again, completely apprehensive of what this could mean for her, the thought of her getting to perform on one of the most important stages in the art of pole dancing, with some of the best dancers in the world, I had to continue to encourage her.
I was shocked and intimidated just how many girls were at the audition. Some seemed happy and excited, some seemed scared. And I could tell, for one of the first times, Marissa felt nervous. I looked her in the eyes and told her “no matter how you do, you are a good dancer, and I would always love you, and there will always be more chances, so just have fun and show them how good you are.” I gave her a hug and held back a tear as she left to start the intense audition process, completely on her own for the first time.
Now what ended up happening was something I didn’t hear about till later. After the audition. After we left, Marissa had forgotten her lucky pair of grips and we went back to retrieve it and I over heard the instructors talking on their lunch break in the other studio. Apparently when Marissa had gone in to the audition she performed really well. Her transfers, which had been one of the things she had struggled with were flawless and she excelled at her inverts and back hook spins. However the instructors didn’t pick her, they decided to cut her and they said it was because ”they didn’t like her teeth.”
When I heard this I was outraged. Didn’t like her teeth?! Sherwood Hall is a massive theater. Why would anyone ever care about what a little girls teeth looked like, let alone who would even see them? I was so angry. When Marissa was born, I decided not to give her baby braces and I suddenly felt like a bad mother for it. Yeah, I had my own feelings about putting braces on babies so young, but if I’m being honest, it was just too expensive at that time. I had confidence that Marissa would be okay, and now, because of that decision, all the hard work, all the effort, all the determination my daughter had exhibited would all be for nothing. Who are these people to reject such a talent for something so trivial.
I have since thought about it and have made the realization that on such a prestigious platform as the Starettes, when you have so many girls auditioning, all flawless, all perfect, why wouldn’t you eliminate someone for any flaw, no matter how unimportant it is. You could have a girl who was flawless with bad teeth or a girl who was flawless with great teeth. Why wouldn’t you choose the best and when you’re competing on such a high level, thats just what it takes. I learned that, that day.
So at the end of the first round, the instructors named all the names of the girls they wanted to stay for another round of auditioning and they didn’t call Marissa's name. They cut her. Because her teeth. But something kinda crazy happened. Marissa just didn’t leave. I’ve talked to her about this moment. She says very little about it, and I can’t tell if it was just an honest mistake from the inexperience of auditioning, or if it was truly an act of defiance. She just says, “I was having so much fun, I just wanted to keep dancing.”
So the second round of auditions started and halfway through the judges realized this had happened. They didn’t have her audition packet in front of them anymore, and after going through everyone else, Marissa was just…there. And they didn’t know what to do, frankly. They didn’t want to create a scene and in the words of the woman I heard telling this story they, “Didn’t want to upset the other deserving talent.” So they just calmly asked for Marissas name and she told them, “I’m Marissa Bremer, pleased to meet you.” The judges smiled, and allowed her to perform. Because of how highly precise and coordinated the productions of the Starettes are, girls usually audition in sets of three. However, because she was just this lone entity, a straggler, a stow away, she danced completely alone. As furious I was, hearing this whole story, my heart fluttered as I heard what the judges said next. They said that Marissa, “Flew with the grace of a butterfly, transferring from the poles with an ease and technicality that was unlike anything they had seen since the early days of contemporary pole dancing. It was as if angels were lifting and sculpting her movement. it was just too bad…about those teeth…”
Marissa didn’t get the part. But she did finish the audition and when she came out she wasn’t crying, she wasn’t sad, like some of the other girls were. She had a such a big smile on her face I was sure it was because she had gotten the part. I gave her a big hug and said “How did you do?!” She said, “I flew like mommy!”
Marissa is still dancing to this day and we plan on auditioning again for the Starettes. Maybe we will get those teeth fixed, maybe we won’t. Either way, I have no doubt that she will make it. Make it in the greater scheme of things. Maybe with the Starettes, maybe without. But I know where ever she goes, the world will move with her. Captivated by her unshakable love for the beauty in life. I’m not worried she will ever lose that because she gives that to everyone she touches. Even to a hard nosed, jaded Starette instructor, and especially, to me.
Signed,
Lucile
