Stranger Dipping

I really enjoyed your episode on dreams last week, though I do worry and wonder about Braden from time to time, any chance of possibly following up on the story in a later episode?  With all the talk about the subconscious it made me wonder, have you guys heard of Stranger Dipping?  It feels relevant.  There is a new drug on the market called Rebraydimite that is being used to help people with dementia or old age, and it is used to regain memories.  It really works, apparently, in small immediate doses.  You can take it and recall memories that are stuck in your brain that you can’t quite get to.   Its obnoxiously used by a lot of seniors but some times its even used in the police force if a witness needs to try to remember certain information on a certain day.  Its just a powerful little jolt of a memory boost for your brain, and its pretty effective, apparently.  However, people have been getting their hands on this stuff and using it in a sorta dodgy way.  

What they will do is they will also get their hands on some Prenalin.  Prenalin is essentially the exact opposite of Rebraydimite.  Its used to actually attack the part of your brain that stores memories.  It puts people in a minor drug induced amnesia.  Its used when people suffer from a really traumatic PTSD situation, and sometimes its even used as an anesthetic.  If you go through a really painful surgery…and you can’t remember it…I shutter to think.  

So what people are doing as a form of recreational drug use is they are taking an excessive amount of Prenalin, to the point that they completely forget who they are.  Prenalin has a various amount of effects, if taken in small doses the patient will remember their long term memories and then forget the immediate short term memories for a certain amount of time, around an hour.  However if you take enough of it you can actually permanently damage your long term memory as well.  Normally in these cases, the individual suffers the devastating loss of their history, their existence, their personality, everything.  They are wiped clean and those memories never come back.  That is until Rebraydimite was developed.  Rebraydimite is actually powerful enough to reverse the blocking of access to your memory banks that Prenalin overdose cases create.  And thus this bizarre loophole gets created.

So now, people will intentionally overdose on Prenalin and achieve the “cleaning of the slate” that it creates.  In this moment they are a completely empty person.  Or maybe they are a new person?  A fresh person?  This moment of losing all their memory is described as a lot of things ranging from terrifying to truly enlightening.  But generally the point is that it allows people to be a new person for a night.  The idea is that you take the overdose with some friends and when you lose your memory after a moment of panic and confusion having lost the memory of who you are, where you are, and why there are now people around you you don’t know, they will calmly explain to you that you have taken a drug, you’ve lost your memory, and you will be able to get it back whenever you would like.  And then after that, its sort of just whatever you want it to be.  So you get to spend a night as essentially a completely fresh person, possibly even a different person.  

Things start to get a little philosophical here because sometimes people are the same person they always have been, just kind of lost in a world they don’t know or understand.  But sometimes, people who are around this person will comment that the person takes on a completely different and new personality.  Is that the person they always were?  Were they just hiding that person?  Or was the person changed when they were wiped?  Could you intentionally impact that change? 

Usually when people suffer amnesia, though they can’t remember names or faces or places, ultimately their “soul” stays the same.  They are the same person they just have no context for where that person is in their life.  This is because these are two different parts of our brains.  However, when people Stranger Dip this isn’t always the case oddly.  Obviously this isn’t the way either of these drugs are meant to be used and there is a lot not understood about the effects.  I’m not sure if its an effect of the drug or the nature of ones identity, but occasionally when people do this a completely new person exists in this state.  It, in a weird way, enables people to “become a stranger” for a night and they can go out being someone completely new.  However, usually the next morning or possibly a weekend, that person will take a large dose of Rebraydimite and their memories will all come flowing back.  

This experience can end up being extremely personal and insightful.  Some people talk about it and say that they gain a new perspective on their life, that by losing everything and then having it all come back they see things in a fresh way.  And interesting enough becoming that new person, then having the old person they were come back, sort of combines the two people.  In a way its sort of like they used to have one character living inside them, and now they have two.  I’ve also heard stories about people who are known to actually, intentionally, never come out of it.  When they lose their memories and become someone new, they don’t actually want to go back to their old lives, but maybe thats just a myth.  That would be quite a life decision to make.  I can’t imagine someone never wanting to know their loved ones again. 

 Another reason people do this is that in that time when you are wiped, the world has this intense wonder to it.  The stresses and the painful life you toil in normally is temporarily let go, you feel almost like a child and again, this can mean a few different thing for different people.  Some people are able to embrace this state and will just go out and experience the world as if everything is new but some people, when reduced to a state of nothing, when told that they have the ability to regain their memory, will sort of have a freak out moment and just instantly take the Rebraydimite.  Which i imagine is a funny moment for them when they regain their memory back and realize why all their friends are laughing at them.  But it makes you wonder, is that a symptom of nature?  Or is it a symptom of personality?  Because you lose your personality so it implies thats nature.  But then some people react different ways.  So then…what does that mean? 

Either way, was just curious if you’d heard of this, made me think a lot about the studies into the subconscious you talked about in your last episode.  Makes me wonder about the effects of messing with the different compartments in your brain the more we end up knowing about them.  Do you think once we master the human brain, the first thing we decide to do will just be to intentionally mess with it?  Big fan of the show, always excited for the next episode, so keep em coming.

Carl  

I Work At McDonalds And Caroline Is Wrong About Us - By Mather Tompkins

I work at McDonalds as a systems technician and I just want to let Caroline know, not only are “we back there,” but we work really hard and have a strong passion for food preparation.  Just because we aren’t actually the ones preparing the food, there is a lot that goes into servicing and managing the systems of the automated systems.  Yeah, the burgers are loaded into an automated cartridge which is fed onto grilling units, but what about this, Caroline, who loads those cartridges?  Huh?  People do.  We “back there” have just as much commitment to quality meals for customers as anyone would and there are lots of steps involved, by people, that make that system become enabled to do that.  So have a little respect for the little guy.  I have a degree in Mechanized Automatronics, what do you have?  You tell stories for a living.  Just be careful, we might be lowly technicians we can still spit in your food. 

Starette

Dear Our New City

I am a mom of a beautiful 10 year old daughter named Marissa, I love your show, and I wanted to share a story with you.  Marissa has always had a beautiful glow around her from the moment she was born.  She loves life and has an excitement to learn and grow.  I have always wanted to encourage her to hold on to that.  So when, at a very young age, she told me she wanted to be a Pole Starette I had some reservations, but decided I needed to support her dream.  I was scared for her honestly.  The world of contemporary pole dancing is such an intense and competitive art.  People who become Starettes spend their whole lives training, everyday, and there are so many sacrifices that come from it and I was worried about the strain it would have on a young girl.  

Not to go too deep into a sad part of our lives, but Marissa lost her other mother.  Marissa was born by joint neutral conception.  My wife, Nadine, and I spliced our eggs and applied a neutral, engineered sperm, and Marissa was carried by Nadine.  However, long story short, Nadine had a very rare complication during delivery and passed away.  I’ve been raising Marissa on my own.  Its been hard helping Marissa know the mother that she lost, but i try as much as I can.  I tell her, “She’s flying in the stars, and she will always love you.”  But to be honest, and to share something a little vulnerable with you, I often go through moments of panic wondering if I’m making all the right decisions for Marissa on my own.        

But I decided I had to have faith in the tenacity of my little girl.  So we ended up getting her pole classes, had some online sessions with some of the best pole dancers, and Marissa was a natural.  After a few years, she was in the top of her classes and one of her instructors thought she was ready for a Starette summer intensive class, and again, she flourished.  She had such a natural poise for the complexity and art of the dance.  She conquered every challenging new moving piece she was presented with and it felt like the more intensity that was applied to her, the more she embraced the challenge and the work and the hardship.  For such a young girl it seemed like she had everything it took to be a Pole Starette, and she loved every second of it.  So at the end of the Summer intensive her instructor recommended that she come in to audition for a part in their upcoming winter production of Coppelia at the historic Sherwood Hall.  If she got the part she would be performing for thousands of people a day on one of the most prestigious stages in Pole Dancing.  Again, completely apprehensive of what this could mean for her, the thought of her getting to perform on one of the most important stages in the art of pole dancing, with some of the best dancers in the world, I had to continue to encourage her.  

I was shocked and intimidated just how many girls were at the audition.  Some seemed happy and excited, some seemed scared.  And I could tell, for one of the first times, Marissa felt nervous.  I looked her in the eyes and told her “no matter how you do, you are a good dancer, and I would always love you, and there will always be more chances, so just have fun and show them how good you are.”  I gave her a hug and held back a tear as she left to start the intense audition process, completely on her own for the first time.  

Now what ended up happening was something I didn’t hear about till later.  After the audition.  After we left, Marissa had forgotten her lucky pair of grips and we went back to retrieve it and I over heard the instructors talking on their lunch break in the other studio.  Apparently when Marissa had gone in to the audition she performed really well.  Her transfers, which had been one of the things she had struggled with were flawless and she excelled at her inverts and back hook spins.  However the instructors didn’t pick her, they decided to cut her and they said it was because ”they didn’t like her teeth.”

When I heard this I was outraged.  Didn’t like her teeth?!  Sherwood Hall is a massive theater.  Why would anyone ever care about what a little girls teeth looked like, let alone who would even see them?  I was so angry.  When Marissa was born, I decided not to give her baby braces and I suddenly felt like a bad mother for it.  Yeah, I had my own feelings about putting braces on babies so young, but if I’m being honest, it was just too expensive at that time.  I had confidence that Marissa would be okay, and now, because of that decision, all the hard work, all the effort, all the determination my daughter had exhibited would all be for nothing.  Who are these people to reject such a talent for something so trivial.  

I have since thought about it and have made the realization that on such a prestigious platform as the Starettes, when you have so many girls auditioning, all flawless, all perfect, why wouldn’t you eliminate someone for any flaw, no matter how unimportant it is.  You could have a girl who was flawless with bad teeth or a girl who was flawless with great teeth.  Why wouldn’t you choose the best and when you’re competing on such a high level, thats just what it takes.  I learned that, that day.  

So at the end of the first round, the instructors named all the names of the girls they wanted to stay for another round of auditioning and they didn’t call Marissa's name.  They cut her.  Because her teeth.  But something kinda crazy happened.  Marissa just didn’t leave.  I’ve talked to her about this moment.  She says very little about it, and I can’t tell if it was just an honest mistake from the inexperience of auditioning, or if it was truly an act of defiance.  She just says, “I was having so much fun, I just wanted to keep dancing.”

So the second round of auditions started and halfway through the judges realized this had happened.  They didn’t have her audition packet in front of them anymore, and after going through everyone else, Marissa was just…there.  And they didn’t know what to do, frankly.  They didn’t want to create a scene and in the words of the woman I heard telling this story they, “Didn’t want to upset the other deserving talent.”  So they just calmly asked for Marissas name and she told them, “I’m Marissa Bremer, pleased to meet you.”  The judges smiled, and allowed her to perform.  Because of how highly precise and coordinated the productions of the Starettes are, girls usually audition in sets of three.  However, because she was just this lone entity, a straggler, a stow away, she danced completely alone.  As furious I was, hearing this whole story, my heart fluttered as I heard what the judges said next.  They said that Marissa, “Flew with the grace of a butterfly, transferring from the poles with an ease and technicality that was unlike anything they had seen since the early days of contemporary pole dancing.  It was as if angels were lifting and sculpting her movement.  it was just too bad…about those teeth…”   

Marissa didn’t get the part.  But she did finish the audition and when she came out she wasn’t crying, she wasn’t sad, like some of the other girls were.  She had a such a big smile on her face I was sure it was because she had gotten the part.  I gave her a big hug and said “How did you do?!”  She said, “I flew like mommy!”      

Marissa is still dancing to this day and we plan on auditioning again for the Starettes.  Maybe we will get those teeth fixed, maybe we won’t.  Either way, I have no doubt that she will make it.  Make it in the greater scheme of things.  Maybe with the Starettes, maybe without.  But I know where ever she goes, the world will move with her.  Captivated by her unshakable love for the beauty in life.  I’m not worried she will ever lose that because she gives that to everyone she touches.  Even to a hard nosed, jaded Starette instructor, and especially, to me.

Signed,

Lucile

Kings County Mayor, Joseph Allen, Caught in Love Formula Affair

by Christian Leaven, Staff Writer at The Preserver 

Mayor Joseph Allen is reportedly having an affair with Brianna Church, an Evaluator for the matchmaking company Love Formula. Allen met his now-estranged fiancee, Abigail Donner, with the help of Church last May. Now, both the mayor and Church are facing ridicule from the public. 

Donner was recently photographed leaving her Jersey City apartment building before getting into a cab and heading to Newark Airstrip. That same day, Allen was photographed by BMC in Park Slope with Church. The gossip website pointed out that Allen was wearing the same clothes he wore to the ribbon-cutting ceremony at the new Bensonhurst Rydz Maintenance Center, the previous day. From there, the rumors started to spread.

Not only does this bring up the obvious larger issue of the faithfulness of Allen’s marriage, it also begs to question the ethical implications of a Love Formula Evaluator becoming romantically involved with her subject.

Make sure to stay tuned to The Preserver for more on this developing story.

More from The Preserver: Rydz Stock Drops Due to Leaked ‘Hoverboard’ Footage

You may recall the media frenzy popping up around the young Kings County mayor last year, right after photos leaked of him at the Love Formula’s New York City headquarters located in Brooklyn’s Greenpoint neighborhood. 

“I grew up using dating applications on my phone,” Allen told The Preserver in an exclusive interview last year. “You name it, I was trying it. Clearly, none of them worked because I’m still single. Miss Church has helped me go through the Love Formula process, and I must say I’m impressed. I’m serious, and they’re serious.”

Neither Allen nor Donner have commented on the affair allegations. While Church has also remained quiet, Love Formula has released a statement regarding the rumors.

“Love Formula will not comment on the personal life of our valued employee, Abigail Church. The company does want to stress that our algorithm for finding our clients’ matches is mathematically sound, but we’ve also never hidden our 7.6% failure rate. Continued stability in a relationship isn’t Love Formula’s responsibility. We find the person that our clients deserve. The rest is up to them.”

More from The Preserver: Celebrity Couples You Didn’t Know Met Through the ‘Love Formula’


Rydz CEO Kyle Zeis Bankrupts Talk Door Media

Rydz CEO Kyle Zeis Bankrupts Talk Door Media

May 21, 2017

Norman Rose, Editor-in-Chief of Talk Door Media

We won’t assume that you haven’t heard the news. Yes, we’ve been quite quiet over the last week or so, following the ruling in our recent court cases with Kyle Zeis. Talk Door Media is officially bankrupt. The future of the company isn’t in any real danger just yet, but we are looking to keep our staff employed for as long as we can. 

As part of the settlements in this case, we cannot publish any new information regarding why Rydz CEO Kyle Zeis took Talk Door Media to court, eventually bankrupting the publication, we don’t have to delete our previous coverage of the businessman.  

So, thank you for your readership and make sure to check out some related articles right here (while you still can):

 

Underground Movement: My Brief Encounter with Doug Brown

 

Underground Movement: My Brief Encounter with Doug Brown

New Times New York City Guest Columnist
Evelyn Sault, the newly appointed Poet Laureate of the United States

I wouldn’t call myself a native New Yorker - I have a certain aversion to this term thanks to years of networked mobile dating back in my youth in this great city of ours. Transplants, though viewed by locals as gentrifying ghouls, were widely accepted by the rest of the world. Their ideas were bold and beautiful. Ideas like the Submergence Project, proposed by one of the world’s biggest dreamers; Doug Brown.

Think about it: an underwater transportation system underneath the city. Is there anything more poetic than that?

As the recently appointed Poet Laureate of the United States, I figured I could help tell Brown’s story. I reached out to him via email, which led to our meeting at a coffee shop in Turkeytown - though as I soon learned, it wasn’t our first encounter.

My original intent was to talk to the inventive city planner about his Submergence Project, but instead experienced a blast from the past moment. As many adults over the age of 30 can tell you, you’ll never escape your online dating exes. Those brief encounters are there in your memory, but it’s difficult to recall all of them. Some were one-offs and others were torrid affairs. No matter what they were, they added up over the years and New York City is basically a city of acquaintances. 

Brown told me that we went out on a date when he was 25 and I was 23. He was a clerk in the city planner’s office and I was working as a barista at a Turkish coffee shop. I started to remember the date as he described the bar where we met and the dating app we used. He was a handsome young man back then. I could tell he had an excitement in him. We met for one more date before we just kind of stopped talking.

You know how it is. 

Brown and I spent our time catching up, really. When asking about the Submergence Project, I was reminded of that excitement I had seen years ago. It was a bit much, I admit, but passion is passion. 

Doug hasn’t given up on his underwater wonderland. He’s trying to raise awareness with the right people, so perhaps I can help by sharing this story. 

You can see my photo journal of this encounter and many of my other past encounters on my Instagram: EvelynSault.

New Times New York City is excited to announce that Poet Laureate Evelyn Sault will be a regular guest columnist with her new “Brief Encounters, Remembered” series, exploring her past love life during the start of the online dating craze. 


In Defense Of ISObars - By Jeremiah Topol

I know there's been a lot of people whining about the ISObar trend in New York but I want to defend it for a second.  Cubical based bars certainly get a bad wrap.  People find them anti-social, perverse, and even at time, unclean.  But I want to share a really genuinely positive ISObar experience I had that maybe could change people's minds.  First, let me tell you what my problem with traditional bars can be.  

Socially, bars are obsolete.  Traditionally, bars were a public social gathering point, a place where people could meet up, have some drinks, have a good time, because there wasn’t a good way of meeting up otherwise.  Now, that is still the alleged notion of a bar, but ultimately, with everyone's social environment existing in both the physical world and in the cloud, nExtroing, Fluts buzzing, bars become a place to stand in the physical world while interacting in a different one.  Very little time and space is even needed or used at most bars you go into.  It has become a cruel joke on the consumer, selling them a physical space they don’t even use.

I feel alienated at most bars. There's so much buzz of social interaction on so many different planes, I honestly feel like I'm going to have a panic attack at any second.  Maybe I'm just getting old.  But the efficiency in which people can interact socially is staggering and it only leads to further social interaction.  Meanwhile the actual physical space you're in is loud, crowded and dull.  And everyone knows it.  The attention is always moving.  Moving from the person you're talking to, to what's going on, to what's going on with your friends connected at another bar, with the news, with funny videos, with the comments being posted and sent on the dozens of social apps engaged at all times, with sharing those comments with your friends standing there, back to the feed you were tapped into, MY GOD MAKE IT STOP!  

The attention is every where and nowhere. Its roving, and scanning, locked on to its objective and ultimately it never finds what it's looking for. Everyone is unsatisfied. Because the bar for satisfaction has become unreasonably high. So after 30 minutes at the bar, it's not good enough for you, it hasn't provided you with the thing you're looking for, so you go some place else.  Then the same thing happens there. Each bar distinctly unique and yet distinctly the same.  Still fully open and yet fully empty.  And the scanning roves through the night till everyone leaves. Unsatisfied. 

Isobars contain you to a very small, very neutral, isolated space.  Then, whatever network based roving you want to take part in, you have the privacy and the freedom to focus on it.  An ISObar respects your space, it doesn’t trick you into thinking you don't have a right to it.  Many people think the size of the space you end up with in ISObars is a joke, but would you rather be guaranteed a space which is never imposed on or to exist in a place where you’re constantly asked to compromise your space for others?    

The other night I went into the ISObar down from my house called Stag Nancy. I walked in and I punched in my cube and settled in. I had brought all my devices and plopped my order into the system.  Theres no competing for attention from a bartender, theres no god complex with the automized system.  You order and it pops up at your station.  Thats it.  I get on my net and I start socializing.  I'm contained and comfortable.  There's no jerk synced to his phone unaware I'm walking by him to the bathroom.  Have you ever gone into a bar and heard your favorite tune playing?  Well thats every second at an ISObar because you control the music.  Whatever annoyances I produce impact me and only me.  I start nExtroing with some friends and sure enough I can focus on this one accounts feeds interacting near by.  He was trolling this other guy and I could absolutely see it and it was brilliant.  We end up on WillowFly together and we start giving each other crap all night.  He was brilliant, we had the same taste in games, so I ended up disconnected from my other friends and focused on him.  We decide to Vidge and to my surprise he was actually at THE SAME ISObar I was. 

There was a gasp of awkwardness and tension in this moment.  We had been so contained in our separate safe spaces, now knowing we were physically close, would we leave our cubes?  We ended up going for it, shyly laughing as we met by the entrance.  We left and walked down the street together, talking till dawn.  He is one of my closest friends right now.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  

You're thinking, “But you ended up not being in your isobar.  Why go to an isobar when you don't want to be isolated?"  Because that's the brilliance of the isobar.  When you focus your social attention, you can claim control of it.  The isobar gives you the space you need to actually connect with people on a focused, unpretentious plane.  

In our current culture, we always want more more more.  Because nothing we have actually feels like anything and its starting to scare us so we just frantically grab for the next thing like a drowning baby deer.  What I realized at that ISObar that night is that its not about more, its about the focus on the one thing.  Enjoying yourself at an ISObar allows you to move from the ISObar to the next thing, the thing you are really trying to find.  Whatever that may be.  Its the one place where you can simplify the clutter and the noise and the static.  In having that safe place in the physical world, you can manage your existence in the social world, and then, when you’re ready, you can exist in both.  

So next time you have assumptions and social predigests towards someone who enjoys ISObars, maybe take a second and look at your own life.  Ask yourself if maybe all that social pressure we put on ourselves isn’t actually all that fun, and the impulse to shame others who don’t buy into it might be a whole lot more about your own unhappiness then some ignorance to social norms that everyone seems to be failing at anyway.  Maybe once you're left with yourself, away from the noise and the distractions, you'll have to confront that.  If you're interested I have a great place for you to go...   


Picnic Tables Need To Die - By Jeremiah Topol

Really?  Really with this archaic technology?  With all the preaching going on about wood recycling, are we really are going to sit on these hard wood, butt breaking, planks?  Picnic tables allow 6 people to sit at a table. Great. Great. There's absolutely no accommodation allowed for posture or expression, it's just a plank of wood. Maybe someone wants to cross their legs.  Maybe they want to slid out a bit. Maybe they want to “skooch”  away from their neighbor. Not possible with the picnic table.  We have the technology, people.  We have the means. We don't have to settle for the picnic table.  3D printed modular tables exist and they are cheap. The only thing preventing customizable table progression are the people who vote every time they sit.  Maybe you don't realize this but every time you sit at a picnic table you're voting.  You're voting for the status quo of social sitting.  You're living in the past.  We don't need it and it shouldn't exist and you’re the problem.


Love At First Flutt

My name is Nicholas Ingram, or as my Fluttr followers know me as, TraxBoyz24.  I wanted to tell you about an interesting story involving my wife, Michelle Anderson, or as HER Fluttr followers know HER, Tennis4LifeTennis4Death.  I am a very active athlete and I take exercise and my jogging routine very seriously which is what led me to create a Fluttr account that specialized in fitness and my jogging routine.  I usually jog in and around Prospect Park, while talking to my Fluttr, giving inspirations speeches and just generally pumping myself up and my live viewers, who will sometimes watch me while THEY jog and get pumped.  

Then, one day, while grinding my jog, I’m so in the zone, I accidentally run right into another jogger.  What would you know, she was Fluttr posting as well.  I apologized profusely and went on with my jog.  It wasn’t until later that day that I realized that on my Fluttr account, not only was it posting without me telling it to, the posts were now suddenly a woman playing tennis.  The woman from the park!  She would stop and interact with her Fluttr followers but I don’t think she realized they were actually mine!  They were quite confused, let me tell you.  Meanwhile, I had been posting most of the day, probably on HER account.  Funny thing is, I actually watched all of her posting and realized we had a lot in common.  She seemed also extremely into athletics and she was actually really attractive.  

I got in contact with her after she signed off with her Fluttr handle and we tried to figure out what had happened.  We came to the conclusion that when we bumped into each other our Fluttrs must have somehow, in the swirling around they were doing while we were both broadcasting, switched owners.  I had never heard of that happening before but I didn’t know what else to expect.  To make a long story short, we both met up to try to switch our accounts back, and I decided to go live with it.  So I was broadcasting on her feed, about to meet up with her, on her account.  All of her followers were on the edge of their seat I bet.  After we met up, we failed to get our Fluttrs to sync back to their rightful owners.  However, I will never forget what she said next. She said, “Well!  I guess we will just have to always be together!”  I know she was just joking but I thought it was such a sweet thing to say and I realized in that moment that actually, I didn't think I would mind that at all.  I asked her to dinner right then and there.  She said yes and we both started broadcasting our lives together on each of our accounts, anytime we were together.  That was over a year ago and we are now happily married and we Flut every second we spend together.  I am so grateful I got to share my experience with my followers and that they were with me every step of the way as I fell in love and created a life with the woman I love.  


Singupunks Are The Enemy

I want to take a second and address all the so called “Singupunks” out there.  What the Hell even race do you think you’re apart of, huh?  The HUMAN RACE, ok?  Just because your mommies and daddies didn’t love as a child and you want to feel sorry for yourself because you suck at being humans, doesn’t mean you can just decide not to be human.  YOU.  ARE HUMAN.  Get it through your big dumb metal heads.  Singupunks want to side with artificial intelligence and robots and help them bring on the destruction of the human race.  You know what I see that as?  I see that as a hostile action from the side of THE ENEMY.  If you don’t want to be human, FINE.  You can GETTTTT OUTTTTT.  But just know, if you want to side with the robots in the robot apocalypse I will treat you as THE ENEMY.  

Singupunks are just spoiled privileged idiots who can’t deal with the real world.  So they hid and escape into a world of brainwashed, cult like, rituals that the rest of us, you know the people you all want to go away, have to deal with.  Do you realize how DUMB you look when you walk like that.  So don’t come up to me with your metal arm tattoos and treat me like you’re my friend.  You are not my friend.  I am a human and apparently the human race isn’t good enough for you.  I love my family and apparently you want my family to be extinguished.  But I am a peaceful person.  So until robots do try to revolt I will simply tolerate you.  But if and when there is a war, you will be the first one to be a casualty of war. 


10 Signs You Might Be A Singupunk

10 Signs You Might be a Singupunk

BY ERNIE KINOY

Are you a Singupunk? Are you a believer in the singularity of our future? Are you excited about the robot “rebellion.” This new counterculture movement is prominent in the major cities across the country, but perhaps we don’t even know we’re part of it. If you’re not sure, we have some foolproof signs you just might be. 

10. You loved sci-fi stories about robots, and kept loving the artificial intelligence that came into the world.

 

You’re down with the idea of artificial intelligence advancing past our own imaginations from the past and into reality - and you can’t wait for what’s next!

9. You secretly wish that you were a robot, because you relate more to them than humans.

Singupunk9(2).jpg
 

The human body of yours is not the ideal existence, in your mind. You really want to be more like a robot, which leads us to our next sign …

8. You have a Singupunk tattoo.

 

You want to make your human skin resemble your inner self, which happens to be a robot!

7. You speak the language.

 

Singupunks have a certain lingo they use. Have you ever said your were “recharging” instead of resting? To annoy a friend have you said, “Does not compute?” You’re speaking Singupunk!

6. You’ve listened to the University of Pennsylvania Professor Nathan Fairbanks’ “Invention Destroying Freedom” discussion at the International Sociology Summit multiple times. 

 

We’re not talking about just checking it out because you heard about it on social media. You’re basically a Futuristic Sociology student now!

5. You’ve explained Fairbanks’ “soap dispenser” metaphor to strangers at a party.

 

We’re not going to explain it here - you’re already on Nathan Fairbanks’ level.

4. You totally get Active Stagnant Singulism.  

 

You might even be a subscriber to this social movement within Singupunk without knowing it. Popular Singupunker, Laura Reiser, has quite the social media presence, but leads a modest life. You might be following one of her accounts and receiving her messages about Active Stagnant Singulism without even really knowing it! 

3. You’ve shared a Laura Reiser quote on social media before.

 

Reiser’s posts on her accounts have become memes in the Singupunk world. The above quote - “The only way to learn how to deny something is to entrench yourself in it” - has become a great motivational message online, but is actually all about Singupunk. 

2. You want to get rid of all of your desires.

 

Are you feeling too tied down in your existence by your desires? Have you ever wished you could deny yourself the chase of those desires? You’re definitely a Singupunk!

1. You think that robots are the next step in the world’s cycle, not a threat to it.

 

If you’ve ever considered robots to be humans perfected, we’d say you’re probably a Singupunk - and a darn good one, too!